It is done. The message is delivered.
Enough! I do not wish to speak with you, but through you. You are the prophet. You've played your part. You anchor him, but please be silent! That we may commune.
shewhocamebefore@gmail.com on MSN
shewhocamebefore on skype
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These hours are not built for rash decisions.
Contemplation, examination, and extrapolation are required. One should not move without knowing the cost of their choice.
This is not the time.
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Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.Terry Pratchett
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What does it mean to live for one’s self?
For so long this one has been the means for which others are able to find their purpose. Working as a conduit for which time has flowed, forward and reverse, never grounding myself in one place as there was always another in need in another eon. To describe the calculations required to bend time to my will, so that by looking forward one might plan for the past, I could not do so to any other, kindred or no. Yet I tax myself for them as my self has never had the same worth.
This is not to say I have not found joy in my life. A creator at times. A mentor at times. A mother at times. And on rare occasion, friend and lover.
To be worth something to someone, that is what I desire. In this I believe Duccio was correct: my actions were selfish. Through rite of motherhood, this one sought to create a being that would need her, rely upon her, give credence to her continued existence. In some small part, perhaps that is why I have found humans to be the offspring I have not been granted. Someone to need me—
—Is that what my being has become? Nothing without someone. Ether without substance. Weightless and floating until one reaches out to make contact…
At this moment, the cloak given as gift lies folded across my lap, keeping me grounded. The return to Roma was intended as a pilgrimage for forgiveness, Leonardo’s and my own. Yet I am not ready to let go of the pain; I mourn for a concept that never became reality and this one is unaware of how to move forward from intangible dreams dashed.
My hands stroked over my belly, tauntingly flat, and I wept for hours. Throughout I clung to the cloak, imagining that its giver was here not this broken silence filled with notes of my misery. Even while incapacitated, there was his presence cutting through the haze of shattered heart and mind, allowing that reassurance that I was not just this mass of nothing, an oxymoron of shaped nonexistence.
Another tear drops now on the cloth, soaking into the crest and the decision is made. With him I have purpose beyond sorrow. With him I am not adrift. With him I remember who I am.
The cloak is my only companion as I return once again. Yet soon I will not be alone.
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—and your affinity for birds, this picture shall one day become emblematic. So here you go.
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Post reblogged from Buongiorno, amici miei!
[WEST SIDE! /throws up appropriate hand signs]
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*rest his cheek on her shoulder* Ne, I will always be Ahm's child.
Asked by yesterdayson
Always, Sef. Sooner the universe cease to exist than my love for you meet the same fate. *blissful smile of contentment*
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But Auntie.... *settles his small outstretched hand into hers* I am tiny. *he giggles*
Asked by yesterdayson
Not always, little one. While my love for you shall not fade, it is… difficult not to cling to these moments with such tenacity. To me, you shall always be a child yet I know that you will not.
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Auntie. *snuggles up against her leg*
Asked by yesterdayson
Salutations, my little one.
*stoops to cuddle you to her chest*
Growing so tall so soon? It seems the days has flown and this one has been negligent in her observations. One moment a child, and then time slips betwixt my fingers and you have become a man. *chuckles* Perhaps not quite yet.
